Sisi, my son likes you o
Hey…hey…..heyyyyy,
What’s shaking people?. No’in much here o, just chilling.
Thankful and grateful for all I have.
So what gist do I have going on here? This is something that
happened about 4 months ago.
I really don’t understand what’s going on these days
honestly. Maybe I’m so old school and I don’t know what the trend is about
asking a woman out. In short sha, this man boy’s mother and older sister
toasted me abi it’s quarter to toasting ni, on behalf of this grown ass man
child.
I’ve said this a million times that I’m always minding my
business jeje when people bring ish to me. I was in an African store, buying my
naija groceries when I noticed one yellow pawpaw boy eyeing me. I had to look
over my shoulder a couple of times to be sure he wasn’t starring at someone
behind me; sure enough he was starring right at me. Now I’m a very correct girl
so I don’t knock an admirer’s glances, they can look all they want. My job is
to smile politely and thank baba God that he made me easy on the eye….lol.
Anyhoos, as I maneuvered through the aisle in the store,
this boy kept following me up and down smiling one kind smile. Ahn…ahn… at this
point I was like abi diarrhea n worry eleyi ni?
So I get to the checkout counter and standing in a far
corner was yellow pawpaw grinning from ear to ear. Standing right to my side
though were two women (older like 60’s and mid 40’s) who were checking me out,
whispering to each other and nodding and then repeating the process. At this
point I was like okay I need to gerrourahere fast and go look in a mirror cos
something ain’t right if 2 women are checking me out.
I finished paying for my items and proceeded to exit the
store when the older of the women said ahhh please I want to talk to you, don’t
go okay. So I smiled and said okay ma but continued to walk towards the door. She
followed me outside o. By the time I turned around I saw the two women and
yellow paw paw standing behind me. It was at that point that I realized they
must all be together. He stood there smiling sheepishly; the following
conversation ensued:
Younger woman: hello my dear, what’s your name?
Me: Sav
Older woman: you are beautiful o
Me: ahh thank you ma
Older woman: where are you from?
Me: I’m Yoruba (I could see they were Igbo)
Mama: Yoruba? Ehn ehn…. Issokay. Are you married?
Me: No
Mama: You get man?
Me: ahh….chuckling…… no answer
Mama: no need to answer sef because e no matter as long as
you never marry. You are now ours. This is my son (points to son) Ebube, and he
showed you to us in the store and said he likes you. And as my daughter and I were
looking at you inside we liked what we saw.
Me: trying soooo hard not to laugh like a hyena at what I was
hearing.
Younger woman: where do you work?
Me: so so….company
Younger woman: what do you do there?
Me: …..so…so…so
Younger woman: ohh okay…..so that means you went to school.
Me: nods in the affirmative
Mama: ahh that’s good, that’s good. We must marry you. In fact
as I’m seeing you now I cannot let you go. My son must marry you. Will you
marry him?
Me: still chucking like an idiot there
Mama: It’s true. He really likes you ehn…you are a fine
girl. Oya what is your number so we can call you
Didinrin yellow pawpaw who has been quiet this whole time
steps forward with his phone in his hand with that darn primary 5 grin on his
face.
I call out my number to him and he immediately dials it
saying “I want to test to make sure the number is real”.
They reiterate they will be calling me. Me, I save the
number as: YELLOW PAWPAW, DO NOT PICK UP.
Within the next 24hrs Yellow calls me at least 10 times and
leave a barrage of voicemails, none of which I listened to. Delete…Delete….Delete.
More calls over the next few days, all ignored.
If your mum and sister have to come do the talking on your
behalf, you best keep stepping to your diaper change cos ain’t nobody got time for
lil boys. Let the real men step up please! Gaddem it!
Xoxo
Sav.