Heyyyyyyyy Friyayyyy, whatagwan people! It’s been one kind of a min on this blog but let’s not dwell on my blogging consistency bad behavior….loll.

So you know, any week that there is no drama on Naija Social Media, is not a good week; it’s like all the village people gathered to just spoil it for those of us who like to just eat popcorn, sip and follow the drama. But you see ehnn, this week did not disappoint at all. The one that caught my eye the most was the drama that unfolded as a result of Presidential Aspirant Eunice Atuejide’s tweets about her stance on Feminism.

Humm see ehn, I'm not the person to see all kinds of things on the news. It's either I get tempted to give it a try (cos as per Naija now, a trial shall convince you), or I will never ever go near that thing/place/person. I'm totally extreme, no middle ground whatsoever.

So that's how the other day I saw in the news about this man that Dr's had to perform surgery to remove backed up poop from the guy. I promise you this is super legitimate. So the poop weighed like almost 30pounds FAM! 30 Pounds! That's like my weight loss goal right there.

Okay, don't get me super wrong by the title. There are temptations called men too soooo I'm not coming for either sex per se, but the temptation that comes along with..

Raise your hands if you attended Holy Ghost Center, Ondo Town back in the mid to late 90's - early 2000's. I don't think anyone who lived or schooled in Ondo back then was unaware of Holy Ghost Center. It was THE place of worship for today's version of "awon omo wobe", or poshly put  The This Present House/Day Star folks; Yeah, this category of people. I am one of them.

I swear the silliest things happen to me and it's not even funny anymore. So I got dressed for work this morning and completed my look with my braids wig. As I was fitting the wig on properly I just remembered an embarrassment I suffered years ago!

So this happened many years ago when my neighbor (Isatou Jalloh) and I used to waitress at restaurant in DC. I did it for 2 weeks I think and I could not survive it. Isatou was the one who pushed me into it ooo as per 2 African girls with BIG dreams trying to hustle. Isatou knew all the jobs that legally paid well and she was hell bent on us trying everything. But that is a story for another day. I will probably write that story next. But anyway, I quit that job after one stupid, useless, ugly muteteh of a customer purposely glided his hand over my behind; and I turned and slapped him instantaneously.

**trying to catch my breath.

So last year my co-worker told me how there was a Bear freelancing on the golf course right next to our parking lot at work. There is really nothing separating our lot and the golf course. One moment you are on grass, the next, cement.

Since that day sha before i come out of my car i look left, right, front and back; even up sef cos that bear was eventually found sitting on a tree on the course watching animal control looking for it for a whole 2 weeks since it was first spotted.

This is 2016, and we are all going to have to get with the program. We can have conversations about sex, and nobody will die from it. I think sha.

Sex is not food, yeah yeah we know. All my spirikoko people say that, therefore we acknowledge that ahead of this conversation so you all don’t have to remind us.

I’m here watching an episode of NCIS and for some random reason I remember this girl I had met in Port Harcourt some years back. So now, boo at that time felt married women were the only ones I ought to hang out with because apparently they are all saints. It was a major issue having single friends then because they were not mature enough, could not advise properly, did not have the right type of experience….yadi..yadi…yah.

Heyyyyyyy y'all, So I'm continuing to post write-ups that I've supplied other blogs here for you guys who never got to see them!

It’s October 15, and it’s my birthday. I wake up to see a barrage of birthday messages on my phone; mbok, Naija people una no dey sleep? Ahn…ahn, it’s all love though and I love you all back. Among the birthday shout outs was a message from a toaster. Now this toaster is a little bit on the older side, around the 10-15 years range, but was a single man looking to settle down again.