Our Video of the week is Kiss Daniel's "Woju"

12:51 PM 0 Comments A+ a-

Hey Lovies,

This has been on repeat in my car, Iphone, head, even at work sef! I Loooooooove it! I'm absolutely a fan of Naija songs, especially ones with really good hooks. So please enjoy Kiss Daniel's video. I heard he's had an awesome previous year so far so let's make it even nicer this 2015 by playing, sharing & liking this song!

Have a fantastic weekend! See ya on the winning side! #WinningAllDay





Xoxox......
Love is a beautiful thing.

Team Snoop Where Are You?

2:41 PM 5 Comments A+ a-

Hey Lovies,

Wassssup? Noring much going on here except that its hella’va cold! As in there is no deep freezer in the world that has anything on this cold. Nonetheless, the hustle continues so we've got to keep moving.

Today, we are talking about snooping on the BAE. And in case you don’t know what BAE means: Before Anyone Else. You’re welcome. Hehehehhee. See how productive we are on this blog ehn

If you have a spouse, chances are that at some point during your relationship you may have suspected BAE was up to something – probably because of some questionable behavior like suddenly being secretive, locking phones, whispering during phone calls, taking calls in the bathroom, sleeping with the phone under the pillow, behaving weird after you both run into another girl, spending more and more time at the office, “with the boys”, reading\sending messages with the phone nearly touching their eyeballs, etc. Yeah, if your man or woman has been doing any of this, you probably have been inclined to find out why – in other words, Snoop.

I’m not really a fan of snooping honestly but there are some times when snooping just comes and meet you where you were minding your business jejely. I generally feel what I don’t know won’t kill me –even though that sounds ridiculous even to my own ears. I just don’t want wahala abeg. I don’t have the energy to argue, fight, put on my googles and be James Bonding behind anybody. I just would rather not. I know myself very well. If I start from clue number one I will follow it to the very end and it will end with my heart in pieces. Therefore I stay away from snooping.

My pastor on the other hand disagrees. A couple of Sundays ago, my pastor was preaching and then as he does sometimes he digressed into relationship matters. He mentioned how some women go after a man knowing fully well the man is married, and the wife at home will be there crying. “Crying for WHAT?? You better pray to God to break that other woman’s leg. Or you don’t know God can do it?” He had in an earlier service mentioned that you should ask God to take the other woman’s job\income away but he quickly recanted because a jobless woman is really the devil’s workshop. She would now really have time for your husband so its better God breaks her leg instead. I don’t know of many, if any one legged mistresses.

I remember a relationship I was in some years ago – one that I really didn't even want to be in but sort of got cornered into it and I was a lot sweeter back then (you people have turned me into something else as I've grown older). Anyways, I traveled for a couple of weeks and during that period the guy was being incommunicado. Person that would call me every hour practically and would barely let me out of his sight was suddenly hard to reach. Oh boy, abeg phones work nau. 

Anyhoos I returned home and decided to pay him a visit while he was at work. I was in the bedroom eating my agbalumo jejely when the bowl in front of me tipped over and my agbalumo rolled over and then under the bed. I followed it right under the bed and …………….I saw what my eyes were not meant to see. This is a classic example of snoop came looking for me. I saw a woman’s panties under the bed and it was clearly not mine. Not just the panties but something that I do not use was attached to it! Awon oni ranu meji. So gross!! I went to the kitchen, got a broom and swept it onto a packer and waited for guy to return. In the mean time I went through the caller id on the home phone and I saw a number that had been calling at the same time unfailingly for the past 2 weeks (While I was on vacation). I was like ehn..ehn.

This guy returned, ate some food and was gisting like normal. I just brought out the underwear and asked him who it belonged to. He first off said it was mine and I was like “The hell it is………NOT”. Not what I would wear, my behind is not even up to half of it and that nasty thing sticking on it is not what I use either so where did it come from? Dude starts stuttering like he does when he’s lying. SMH.
While he was stuttering, I quietly took his phone and went to the bathroom. I had locked the door before he even knew the phone was gone. I sat down and went through it to my heart’s content. This was my very first time ever having to go through a guy’s phone, but I just had to know. Something was amiss & I would go crazy if I didn't know. Especially since I didn't even want to be in this relationship in the first place.

This was in the era of flip Motorola phones so I flipped it open and I started reading the text messages. Ohhhh sheeeeeeeeeet!! This guy was sex-ting some girl!!! And the girl was a fellow student in his class whom he had told me about, & was in his study group. I didn't think anything of it then because I didn't see anything wrong with people of the opposite sex being friends\study partners. He had apparently brought her to his apartment while I was away, and judging by the pictures she had sent him, that panty definitely belonged to her xxl behind.
Goodness Gracious! I’m even exhausted remembering this story. Anyhoos that was the end of that relationship. Not because I couldn't let bygone be bygone, but because it was a perfect excuse for me to exit a relationship I didn't like & didn't want in the first place.  

I heard so many stories from girls talking about how they snoop through their BAE’s phone while he’s asleep. Yes, dear men, your women look through your phone while you are asleep. The only way you can escape it is if you have it tied to your something while sleeping or we haven’t yet figured out your lock code – but trust me, we are working on it. Especially you men that your eyes be bulging like opolo’s own when you see a fine or well-endowed girl walking by.  You have no self-control kobo!

I haven’t done the snooping thing again since then – well technically it was the snoop that came to meet me where I was minding my own business. Just like another time when one guy was asking me out. This guy was stalking me night and day, acting like he was gonna die there if he didn't marry me. This foolishness of a human being introduced me to his aunt and uncle visiting from Nigeria o, the uncle even brought me this very lovely fabric to give “iyawo wa”. In fact, now that I think about it, may the witches in your father’s village find all of you together for trying to pull one on me. But you ain't getting your fabric back sha cos I sowed correct style with it! Heheheheheheh.

Anyhoos, this guy brought his laptop to me to fix one day saying it had been overcome by viruses and he wanted me to help him clean it since I do techie work. So I decided to help clean it up. I succeeded in getting the laptop back to normal but in the process, I found a folder that was password protected. Hummm, well, well, all my years of watching CSI, CSI Miami (Go Horatio), NCIS, Castle, Law & Order had taught me that something was fishy. He claimed he lived alone which means he’s the only one who would have access to the laptop so who was he hiding the contents of the folder from?

Savanah cracked her knuckles and went to work. I unlocked the folder on my 3rd attempt (hehehehhe…yes, I’m baddd), and ohhhhhhhh sheeeeeeeeeeeet again!! The folder was full of pictures of this guy, his wife, and their kid!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I didn't even bother confronting him about it. I just left the folder open on the desktop so he would know I saw it. I then blocked his number & email address. I can’t deal abeg…………………………………………….

He called me 2+ years later from another line and said he was planning on divorcing his wife at that time after he found a way to return all her money (her inheritance) he stole from her without her knowledge.

You see why I referred to him as foolishness of a human being?

Thank God I had not said “yes” to dating him. I would have castrated him and sent his penis to a museum somewhere.

There is a museum for ……..cough……….cough, right?

I still don’t believe in snooping, and really there should be no need for it if neither party is trifling. There is nothing saner than being in a healthy relationship with healthy people who do not cheat on or lie to you. Nonetheless, I don’t blame those ladies who maintain a weekly\daily sweep of their BAE’s phones, emails, & social media account. More grease to your elbows if this is what you do.

Hypertension is more real in some lives than others biko.

Xoxox………..
Love is a beautiful thing.


When the Man of God (MOG) declares you are his wife...

1:54 PM 5 Comments A+ a-

Hello Lovies…..

I hope I don’t cross the line here with this topic I’m embarking on. I know some people will read mid-way and start shaking their head, talking about “touch not my anointed…..” Errm…. Abeg, all you who were then when Jesus was born, I am anointed too so touch not me either. Lol...

Okay on a more serious note, let me apologize in advance to those that may not appreciate me airing this out but abeg, normal gist is boring these days so here goes:

I was minding my business jejely as always when my friend *Nedu buzzed me on Whatsapp and the conversations goes:

Nedu: Sav…Sav, Happy New Year o. I see you have stepped up so you don’t remember people like me.
Me: Lol… no be only step up
Nedu: Come, don’t tell me this pastors don’t disturb you ooo like COZA
                                         Gehn..Ghen……. I know this guy did not just mention COZA.
Me: (light bulb goes on in my head – gosh, and I have a story oooo)

Anyways, you guys get to blame Nedu for this gist.

A dear friend of mine introduced me to a Pastor friend of hers who had been very instrumental in her spiritual life. She felt I had reached the ripe age of marriage and needed spiritual encouragement to the altar. After so many calls and pushing and nagging the life out of me, I got the guy’s number and called him. And so we started our spiritual exercise journey which was just the normal, pray and fast for breakthroughs etc. kind of situation. Done……Done……Done.

MOG now started calling every now and then to check up on me.

MOG: Ahhh Sister Sav, I just called to see how you are doing o. Any updates? Have you started seeing anyone?
Me: (Inwardly-: It is NOT that serious………like I’m really going to mention if I’m actually seeing anyone! Y’all should know I’m way coded than that abeg.) Ahhh MOG don’t worry, God is ever faithful. He makes All things beautiful in His time.
MOG: ehn ehn… okay o.
Conversation repeats itself like a couple more times before Pastor asks if I’m on Facebook. I respond in the affirmative and he sends me a friend request. (For future reference, this is such a NO..NO).

MOG sees my profile – pictures and all…………..
Next conversation

MOG: After a bunch of small talk: Sister Sav, God revealed something to me, has he revealed the same to you?
Me: Ahh God reveals to me all the time but ermm which one in particular are you referring to.
MOG: You know, this is so difficult for me to say. I probably shouldn’t be mentioning it to you sef, but errm let me just speak as I am led. I think the Lord is showing that I might be your husband
Me: (inwardly -HELL TO THE NO!!!! Nope, Nope, Nope. God sure forgot to tell me that part. And you sure weren’t hearing things until you saw my pictures!! Ahnn abeg o.  ) Light chuckle, it is well o MOG. I’m sure if that’s the case, God will make it known to me since He’s not an author of confusion. Thank you for the revelation Sir.

Yup, there was no Sir before but I sharply introduced it; and that was the last time i picked up his call!

This happened some years ago……………….

Sighhh.. this episode leads me to all manner of questions, scenarios etc. Why do MOG use this to trap women all the time? Could this actually be true? Have you encountered this before? Why say “God told you she’s your woman” when that voice you heard was just yours in disguise? Would a MOG intentionally lie just to get what he wants? Should we attribute this to the “flesh” taking over the “Spirit”?

Either way, abeg I would appreciate it if such visions are limited to: Sister Sav, please manage this 10Million naira God has asked me to dash you or Sister Sav, the Lord directed me to give you the keys to this house in Parkview Estate, Ikoyi, or Sister Sav, pls accept this all-expense paid trip for you and the BAE to Fiji….etc.

Anyone else with me on this type of practical vision needed?


Out of Naija but not out of Naija.

11:11 AM 10 Comments A+ a-

Hey Lovies,

Happy New Year again!!!  So I’m back to the U.S but mehnnn I totally miss naija. I started feeling the onset of semi depression about a day before I left naija. People don’t get why I love Naija die, and this is beyond me really. How can anyone not love Naija? How can you not love the sighs all over the room when NEPA (PHCN ko, Rumigbo Ni. Hissssss. NEPA for life o jare) takes light, the sheer panic on your face when mosquitoes do a slow dance in front of you- as in the boldness of “you ehn, dey drink that Fanta go o, your blood will be succulent tonight”; the bumpy roads that are sure to send any 9 month pregnant woman into labor, the hawkers on the street which by the way I am addicted to. I get so excited when I’m riding through areas where street hawkers are. Just the fact that I can buy just about anything on the road gets me excited. From CDs to DVDs, to Gala, to Lacasera, to fruits, even tomatoes sef is super exciting to me. I feel like a kid in a candy shop. May I also beg Governor Fashola to please not get rid of them entirely abeg. Yes, I know I’m special. Lollll.

Then the mad traffic! My goodness! You cannot plan ANYTHING in that Lagos. Nothing at all, ahn ahn. What’s so weird is that I totally love people shouting and screaming at each other in traffic – se oju eh fo ni? Gba mi oo, boya baba eh wa iru eh ni oko yin…..lmaoooo. I swear this totally cracks me up when I hear these things. If you know me, you’ll know I find pleasure in the simplest and oddest things. Give me a stool in a very busy area of Lagos and I promise you I’ll have an amazing time just sitting there and taking it all in. I don’t need the whole Oriental Hotel Lunch\Dinner treatment to enjoy myself.

But wait oo, if you are a toaster and you try this whole middle of Lagos street thing with me I’ll swear for your ancestors o…ahn….ahn… what rubbish ke. Is that how your mates treat ladies? Where do you think I’m from? Do you know who I am? You berra conform and behave like someone without egbecious alacrity issues. Thanks in advance.

Ehen o jare, back to the matter. So realizing I would miss all of this Naija-isms near threw me into major depression. As you know ehn, any emotion that cannot be understood is due to depression. I decided I didn't want a Psychiatrist to come and diagnose me with aisan ti o gbo ogun (illness without a cure), and I decided to un-depress myself by physically being out of Naija but somewhat remaining in Naija.

I had to head back to work the very next day after I landed in Yankee so I armed myself with some CDs I had bought in go-slow in Lagos, some Butter-mints, Tom-Tom, Eclairs, and Chipsy plantain chips; I got into my car and decided to drive to work. First and foremost the driving was doing me one kind because I had not driven –except for once in 3 weeks so it took a while for me to get a grip. Then I realized everywhere looked abnormal to me – everywhere was too clean, no noise, the white lines dividing the roads was legible, no fumes gushing out from the cars around me and gaddamit, no danfo or Okada!!!! Aghhhhhhhhhh this is not normal o.

No wahala now. I slot in my new Yinka Aiyefele CD and I was like ahn..ahn…. ah ma ni ri esu o. Where is the juju music I was expecting? The man was just singing orishirishi that sounded nothing like his past really good CDs. I removed it and replaced with Shina Peter’s Shinamania. Ahhhh this is the shiznit…. Action……afro Juju Shina Peters Igba ti wa lo de, afro Juju Shina Peters Igba ti wa lo de… tele tele ri eh ti jo orishirishi, suwegbe ijo rindi rindi emu kuro lara, Ijo Shina sagba dewe...

Yepaaa....ibadi mi oo, awon daaaaa, yes ke......

Lollllll. I swear I can be so tush challenged sometimes so please forgive me.

I was enjoying my drive to work, and one oyinbo man just cut me off!! My goodness!! Dem no born you! Me that had been looking for someone to unleash my new choice words from Lagos before.. hah..
I was like Oyinbo, your fadaaaaaaaaaa, shay you didn’t see me ni. Odenson. Kuro lono joor. Lolll

Singing my Shina Peters: pelemo o, Ijo Shina yi… afro juju… pelemo ooo Ijo Shina yi……afro juju. Omoge look your front, baby look your back, jowo think twice o before you fall for that back. You can be Miss world o, you can be Miss Africa, You can be Miss Nigeria, without money nothing can be done…
………….Omoge you fine ye ye ye…..baby oooooo.

I was so happy with myself for bringing naija with me, determined not to act like I was back to yankee, not to get Naija home sick, still singing my Shina Peters & using style to komole as I walked out of the Elevator onto my floor at work when the receptionist just shouted “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Shawnnnnnnnnnnnnn”

Screechhhhhh………….Freeze……  Aba nkan je ni receptionist yi sha (this receptionist can ruin the moment sha)! I sure as hell am back in Yankee where they call me Shawn. Nonsense. He just had to kill my Naija mojo this morning. Pissed off bajestically.

My name is Seun!!!! Pronounced Shay-un. Repeat after me Shay-un….Shay-un…….one more time Shay-un.


Welcome to America Savannah!! 

Have a splendid weekend folks.

Xoxoxo...