Wait....married women too?
Hallos lovies, my sincere apologies for slacking off, as in
major major slacking off. I really don’t have an excuse really. I always come
across juicy, mouth open gist, some are even down right ratched sef and I’ve
been keeping them to bestos and myself. Selfish much aint it? Make una no vex
abeg. I’ll try to keep getting better at bringing some funny yarns but until
then please keep me in your prayers. LOL…
So last night I was talking to my friend *Deolu (name
changed for privacy reasons) and we ended up talking for about 2.5 hours. I
know right!! A whole 2.5hrs yarning on the phone!! Lol… my friends know there’s
never a boring moment with me except I’m really shy, like I’m around someone I
have a major crush on……cough…cough… e.g Mr.Q. loll okay let me stop.
Deolu and I are old friends. Actually an old toaster who was
introduced to me by one of my many non-biological aunties when we were having
our “iwo omo yi, lo marry now ahn ahn… mo fe plan wedding o.” Translation “you
this girl, go an marry now ahn..ahn..I want to plan a wedding”. So aunty
*Mopelola had tried to match make Deolu and I, & as usual once I saw a red
flag the first couple of dates I ran 440 and friend zoned him sharp sharp.
Deolu and I haven’t spoken in months (that’s another story entirely….
my lips almost got raped & I had to slap some sense into him so he could
regain his sanity cos obviously he must have lost it- for him to think he can
plant one on me without my permission or approval. Deolu shay you were smoking
weed that day abi??? Mchewwww…nonsense. Anyhow, he has since apologized &
promised not to step out of line till he’s 90 years old. I don’t trust that boy
sef so I’ ain’t gonna be hanging with him alone. My lips are very precious to
me thank you! Just ‘cos they are all pink & orishirishi don’t mean they are
available just anyhow. Nonsense again.
Okay, back to the story, so Deolu & I were catching up,
he’s been calling since my birthday to catch up (wait ooo, I’m beginning to
think this boy is up to something sef. Why is he calling this much? Got to
think about that one); that’s how we got talking about dating & marriage
and what not. Deolu has always acted like committed relationships &
marriage are like leprosy. He’s very anti-commitment. Somewhere along the gist
he said “Savannah, there’s a reason I’m the happiest among all my friends (May
I interject that Deolu & his clique of friends are very successful (career
& business) men so I was a bit surprised to hear that this group of men not
so happy. I asked why and he said because they are all married. Mcheww, this
boy has come again with his anti-marriage wahala. He couldn’t delve into the
plethora of marital issues the boys were having but he said that his advice to
all of them is “you should have remained single & just screw around like I
do”. I was like ahh Deolu ooo but why would you give anyone such an advice? He
says because it’s true. This guy now goes on to tell me he has messed around
with single girls, engaged girls, married girls & pregnant girls (No, not
pregnant for him). At this point I had nearly fainted on my comfy couch.
Cheii..mogbe…boy yi o ni pa mi o. Say what now?? Pregnant women? Married women too?
He said ahn ahn…. He has been chased by dogs and husbands…Lmaoooo…I can’t stop
laughing every time I remember this. Omg!
I had to ask why the married women though and the pregnant
women too? In all fairness he said none of the pregnant ones were naija (Sigh
of relief…there is still hope for my country). He said the married ones were
bored with their husbands and the whole marriage thing. I also had to chide him for letting married
women get into his pool of potential trysts but he was like “Savannah, I
promise you every single one of these girls came after me on their own and they
border line stalked him & since “NO” is not in his dictionary when it comes
to the nitty gritty….”. Gone are those days when married women just folded
their arms and sulked while their husbands have a spree of girls outside.
By now you know I’m sitting up and enjoying this
conversation. I’m like ehen…oya continue. Deolu goes on to say he’s friends
with all of these girls and they don’t want to leave the security blanket of
their marriage but they get off some kind of high knowing they can play games
behind their husband & he doesn’t suspect a thing, yet he thinks he’s the
only one having a ball with all dem girls outside. Just the thrill of spending
more time in the toilet texting him, meeting up at his house for an afternoon
rendezvous in the sheets, and even sneaking off to a car when they meet at a party
is enough to get the girls hooked. So now that he has been there done that with
the married ones he’s even more convinced that there is no more sanctity in
marriage & he wants no part of it.
He definitely said more but the little about married women
got me thinking quite a bit because I have come across a situation where a babe
married her husband a virgin but she has had many more partners after she got
married because her husband was not exciting.
So my thoughts are thus: Is there anything that can be done
to prevent a married woman from having a boyfriend or a lover? (I know we are
now all about what’s good for the goose is good for the gander) but a part of
me still finds it’s unnatural & unsettling to deem it okay.
Is it a woman’s responsibility to shake things up between
the sheets & in her marriage in general, and what role should a man play in
all this? Honestly, if you are a 3 pumps & I’m done – so my wife should be
done too kind of man, I can’t blame your wife if she has a lover. What’s wrong
with you sef? 3 humps & that’s it???
Loll… Have a fun weekend y’all