Amala Makes People Black.....Eba Makes People Yellow

10:01 PM 11 Comments A+ a-

Hiiiiiiiii My Loves,

What shall we be talking about today?

So I was gisting with my girl Dolapo the other day and the conversation veered towards black edible items, in this case black cake fondant. My birthday is coming up and I told Dolapo I didn’t want black fondant because I don’t eat black things. I don’t eat or drink anything dark. I have serious aversion issues to anything dark. Yes, I don’t eat chocolate. I’ve never liked chocolates. When I was a child and other children would lust after chocolate, I would be the only child going in the opposite direction. Not just chocolate, I don’t drink coke… EVER. I mean, I’ve tasted coke before but I don’t know if I’ve ever swallowed more than a mouthful in my entire life. Yes, it’s that bad. I was a full blown adult before I would eat amala. Yup. I sucked that much. As a matter fact, there is a running joke… more like a funny narration of me in my family. So when I was little (think Primary school days), when anyone would offer me amala to eat, I would start crying that I want eba instead. If they ask why I don’t want amala I would say Noooooo I dun want, amala makes people black….. eba makes people yellow. I wan ebaaaaa. Lollllll.

There is NOTHING anyone could do to make me touch chocolate, coke, amala, or anything edible that’s dark in color. Please ask me where this cray….cray aversion came from o biko.

(Abeg I was just about 4/5 yrs old I think when all of these started so please don’t criticize my thinking).

So in primary school (Grace Children School, Gbagada) there was this girl in my class whom I was good friends with. Her name is Tokunbo (Let me not mention her last name). Tokunbo was dark in complexion, if I remember correctly her gum was also black. Everything was just black. See I am fair in complexion, everyone in my house is fair-ish too…..for some reason maybe I expected everyone in the world to be fair. This is until I got to Grace and I met Tokunbo. She was a very lovely girl, but mehnnn I would just stare at her all day, wondering ehnnn how can someone be this dark in complexion for goodness sake ehn. And she didn’t help matters at all either. When we were served milk in school – we had options of chocolate, plain or strawberry milk during snack time, this Tokunbo will now choose chocolate milk. Every day she would come to school with chocolates. When they ask us what we want to drink per sodas, Tokunbo will now say Coke. When they ask us in class what our best food is, everyone will be saying Jollof rice or fried rice, or dodo, or spaghetti  oooo. Please guess what Tokunbo will say. AMALA!! Ahnn ahnn.

That’s how me I started thinking it was Amala, Coke, Chocolate that made Tokunbo black in complexion oo.
Of course when I got older I knew none of those things had an influence on her complexion but I think my head is now too warped to function otherwise. Bottom line is I was traumatized.
I have since started eating Amala…. Once every other month or so, but I won’t drink coke or eat chocolate at all. I will eat Cadbury’s Eclairs though and that is the only candy that has chocolate I would eat, but will not go near a Kit Kat\Hershey Bar etc… Hellz Nah! I would rather drink ogi than drink coke, and I HATE ogi!!

I also won’t eat chocolate cake or chocolate ice cream! Why?? What for? Why would anyone make a delicious dessert like that so black? What if there was a cockroach in it how would you see it? You people play too much abeg.

Loll….. so there it is. That’s my weird story. Dolapo made me share this by the way!


Ohhh so errrrm yeah, I think I need a shrink right? How do I over come this weirdness? Anyone got any ideas? loll I'm for real o cos y'all don't take me serious at all!




Xoxox

Savannah

11 comments

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favour moyse
AUTHOR
October 13, 2015 at 5:23 AM delete

hahahah... u knw there are white chocolates rite????




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October 13, 2015 at 12:45 PM delete

Lolll of course i know na.... Maybe i should specify i am referring to brown/dark chocolates for clarity?
Idea is need biko....

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Abayomi Asana
AUTHOR
October 13, 2015 at 1:09 PM delete

Lol Seun, Good Writeup. You are not the only one with similar thoughts. Amala does make people black, coming from the guy with Iya Ibadan as his wife.

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Simply_suzann
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October 16, 2015 at 1:03 PM delete

Its been a while joorh.. I jst kept on revisting ur blog 4 latest posts. I have a similar situation as urs.. I remember I've stopped eating beans since primary school when we were told it makes people grow tall and they were always 'long' from my maternal and paternal lineage. Till date I still find it difficult to eat beans or anything made from it no matter how little it is and yet I'm almost 6ft tall

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October 18, 2015 at 7:36 PM delete

Hahahaha,OMG,so this is why as kids you always shook your head badly at the question from my mum "Seun,would you like coke or chocolates?!!*lmao*lol*lwkmd*What an eye opener after so long,cousin mi...you just juggled up a truck load of memoirs free of charge. I didn't like turkey @1st when I ate it because it irritated me but with time i overcame my aversion to it. Guess my mind couldn't just accept competition for chicken in my life*winks winks*

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October 18, 2015 at 10:21 PM delete

Lolll thank you oo. I'm glad i have a supporter here...

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October 18, 2015 at 10:25 PM delete

lmaooo @ long... i swear i choked on my juice just now as i read your comment! I don't like beans either. I started tolerating it as an adult, and even then i eat it like once in 2 or 3 months. Thanks to my boarding school with nastiest beans ever given to mankind for consumption.

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October 18, 2015 at 10:27 PM delete

lol...now you know why oooo.
smh trust you to have an even weirder situation than mine!! Who starts comparing turkey to chicken? Mi o gbo iru eh ri ooo

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Ruqkayah
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November 5, 2015 at 4:27 PM delete

I love coke I can't eat plain chocolate and I prefer white amala. When i was younger i had a fair cousin, when people asked us what we wanted to drink I used to choose coke and she said fanta because of our skin.

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November 19, 2015 at 11:24 AM delete

First time on your blog! Love it! Read every story! Me sef, I find that I couldn't drink GoldSpot (till they shut down). I remember having a terrible bout of malaria when I was like 5-6, you know that time when everything is bitter? Mumsci gave me Goldspot to use to support my drugs, it was real bitter in my mouth! Kai! Since then o! I see Goldspot, i think 'bitter', even now as I am typing this its doing my body one kain, lol.

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November 19, 2015 at 12:06 PM delete

Hiiiiiii thank you for stopping by. I'm always excited about new readers.
Goldspot? lollll Omg I remember that drink. eeya sorry o.. ndo. Good thing is that its extinct now shey?..
I remember Tandi Guarana, that was the worst drink to drink in room temperature. I had it once on a field trip to Abeokuta rocks and it was just horrid. That was my first and last time every trying it. I stick to my Fanta jejely. No complaints till date.

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