Stop Chopping My Money.

11:39 AM 6 Comments A+ a-


Heyyyyyyy Heyyyyyy Heyyyyyy, Whats Popping people!

I have to say thank you to my peeps who keep urging me to post new content. I literally have fans who email or text me to post something cos they need my stories to get them rolling. I’m always so pleased to hear this. Emi na ko o- it’s all Baba God. Thank you Jesus. We are multiplying in number. Soon we will be the must read blog. Amen.

First and foremost I have to thank Steve Jobs for Face Time. It just makes gisting with friends on the other side of the world so much juicer and easier. It’s my preferred way of communicating now. If you have an Iphone I just call you on FT – end of story.  So anyhoos, over the long weekend, I called my friend Zee who lives in Lag. He’s just a fun person to gist with I swear. As soon as he picked up he didn’t even say hello Sav, he just went into gist mode straight up.

He was like Sav, what is wrong with you naija women these days ehn (In my head I was like egbami, I just wanted to say Hi nau), especially the girls in Lagos. They are like modern day robbers, everything is about money. If a guy doesn’t have money they don’t want to date you, If you appear to have and you don’t give they start acting up. Why is everything about money with you people? We don’t even know if a girl is real or not these days. We can’t tell if a girl loves us for real or not or she’s just after our money. He gives an example of a girl who used corny man die moves to get money from him by asking him to give her hard currency while he she transfers naira to his naija account. Dude fell for it and babe never paid up. Now, as per big boy that he is he can’t be asking for the money back just any how cos these days you gats to keep your rep up.  Next thing you know babe calls him and starts sweet talking him on the phone- as in major esa and dude was feeling it, already his head was swelling and I think the engine too was revving as well, that is until babe asked him for a few hundred pounds to add to her flight ticket. Zee said his jaw just dropped as in ahn..ahn.. won fi owo se eh ni!. Reality hit him that this babe was out for his money.

Then he mentioned how he was on vacation and took some girls out and the first thing the girls ordered was champagne. I burst out laughing at this juncture.

Now Zee’s friend who was also around interjected into this conversation asking sort of how often should a girl be asking for money from her man, and if you give a girl $500 why is she asking for more so soon?

All this time I was listening and then I said you know what, I blame you people too. You guys live in Lagos and are giving girls money in pounds and dollars- why won’t they rob you people blind!

My opinion on this whole men spending on women matter is this:

A guy should not be spending ridiculous sums on a woman he is not yet dating. You need to however do the general spending like going on dates and footing the bills, and occasionally picking up extras like filling up her gas thank, paying for her to have her hair done, a mani\pedi , and “I was passing by a mall and saw this and I just had to get it for you” gifts. Yes, this has been working since the stone age, and we girls need to somehow be able to tell that you are not stingy before we say Yes.

Mandatory gifts for birthday\Valentines\Christmas should not be missed except you are a goat, really. Now, when you are dating, don’t start a culture of giving what you know you have no plans on sustaining. You want to get a girl, and you start giving her 100K every month as allowance, then after giving her twice you now decide you’re stopping- for what now???

I told them directly that a girl you have just started asking out or just started dating, and is asking you for money- you had better run for your life. Respectable girls don’t do this.  I think a certain amount of time and level of comfortability should have passed and be established before you start asking a guy for money. Even then, please be wise in the asking. Don’t be asking for frivolous things. And I will say this too: Ladies, when a guy takes you out please don’t order or buy things that you know you would not\cannot afford to buy on your own. That’s just pure greed.  A guy takes you out and you order champagne! If you were having a night out with your girls you would not be ordering no champagne so please why do that to someone else? Are you that starved! Ahnn Ahn…. You girls can embarrass someone honestly. 

See, the guys are getting wiser to y’alls antics. Stop all this nonsense and respect yourself.  When a guy is asking you out or dating you, If he wants to put you on a 1million naira allowance, let him do it of his own accord. He’s not obligated to and It doesn’t make him a bad person. There are other ways to deduce a stingy man. Another way to look at it is this, money you cannot spend on yourself, or that your dad has not spent & will not spend on you – don’t have a sense of entitlement to it from a man you are not married to.


Xoxo,
Love is a beautiful thing.

How to get a naija woman to legit love you

10:45 AM 13 Comments A+ a-


I have been pondering over this topic for a little while now, and I think it all started after I read a blog reader’s comment about how women constantly are barraged with articles on how to keep their man.  

I’m legit tired of hearing step 1 to 10 on how to land a man, keep him, keep on keeping him, keep keeping to keep on keeping him content and happy. Ain’t nobody got time for all that! I have to work, I have to build or run a business, I have to attend to the kids-if any. I serve in multiple units in Church,  Got to pretend to be doing Shaun T’s Insanity work out DVD- where in actual reality I’m balanced in front of my TV with my sugar popcorn saying to myself “Seun, just do the exercise mentally, it’s all the same. I have to make sure my weave is on point, cannot be smelling anyhow; got to make sure my posh accent is flowing at the right time.

Got to read Forbes, Business Week, NY Times so I know what’s going on in the business world; then read Vogue magazine and Cosmopolitan so I’m in tune with the latest fashion, and ways to satisfy le boo when we get to it. On top of that, I have to caution my culinary skills to not be limited to Indomie & pepper chicken daily! Ahnn my daily social media intake in there too o, from LoveDeyShackMe, to Bella Naija SDK, to Linda, to IG, to FB, I mean, I am a very busy woman darn it!  In addition, let’s not forget the koko- which is I have to remain prayed up!

So on top of my important schedule as listed above I now have to be worrying about step 1 to 10 of how to keep on keeping someone?  How about we flip the script and talk about how to get a Naija girl to legit fall in love & stay in love with you. I say legit fall in love with you because I won’t lie, women are smart; naija women especially are very smart. Don’t be fooled o cos all na packaging. They will tell you all you want to hear as they are rubbing your head and you too, mumu will fall for it, put a ring on it, & start lamenting when you find out she only married you for the ring & name change.

Not all of us are like that though. Some of us will rub your head and genuinely make you feel like the king you are, without any ulterior motive.  We however don’t just fall deeply and stay in love with you, without you haven put in any work. We have expectations too albeit mostly silent ones. But not meeting our expectations is what culminates in you being served roaches for dinner, none stop nagging, robbing you blind by tripling expenses, taking off at the slightest sign of discomfort, reading a novel while you are on top of us or even imagining it’s another man doing the deed. We stop praying for you, and yes, yes, yes we cheat on you.

So here’s a list of what we expect from you men to get us to legit fall and stay in love with you.
  • Have a relationship with God: You cannot say you don’t believe in God and expect us to think you are normal. If we tell you we don’t believe in God as well you had better wake up at 1am to see what angle our legs are on the wall. Most Nigerians are raised to believe in the supremacy of God, that there is a higher being and we reverence Him.
 
  • Know how to pray: See ehn, once you take off the Ferragamo  & Givenchy, there is nothing sexier than a man who can get on his knees and give honor to the most High. Seeing our man pray/seeking God is helluva sexy I tell you. All that gra gra you men be doing, like you’re too big to be bowing before God.
 
  • Be truthful/Honest: Have some integrity- period!
 
  • Be intelligent: We all love a man who is smart. Matter of fact Naija girls love watching their man amongst a group of men speak intelligently over versatile issues. I however don’t mean in an over sabi, I’m always right kind of way. We watch you and secretly smile, hi-fiving ourselves saying “Yup, that’s my baby”.
 
  • Be Kind and Generous: I don’t mean be footing our bills up and down when we are not even married. Yes, we expect our man to give if, and when he can. Shower your woman with what you can afford. If you can comfortably afford a $200 bag as a gift for your lady, but you now decide to buy a $20 bag for her – I have to ask you why? Most girls can deduce their man’s pocket at some point and will know if you are being stingy. This reminds me of when one dude asking me out bought me a salt and pepper shaker set as a 30th birthday present. The price sticker under it was $1.99. Let me not say beyond this.
 
  • Be hard working: Hey couch potato, get up and get working. Find something doing no matter how small. “I don’t believe in working for someone, I want to be my own boss”; this is fine as long as you have the resources to start and sustain a business. You can build a business on the side while earning a steady income. Please, Please, Please, a lazy man is a turn off! And this applies to you men who want to marry a girl for her daddy’s money. Everyone can tell including the girl, her family, your friends, & family – You will never be respected! Don’t be a houseboy in your own marriage.
 
  • Bedroom matters: I don’t know how you’re going to do this but please satisfy your woman in bed. Here’s a public service announcement: Women have orgasms too.  Don’t go and be doing like tolo-tolo there and be done in 1 minute. Read books on sex or something. Just strive to be way better than mediocre. Talk to your woman. Get rid of that colonial thinking that a woman who knows what she wants in bed is loose. You should be happy actually.
 
  • Be a great family man: For the yet to be married men, we want to see you be a great son to your parents, a fantastic brother to your siblings. And if you’re married already – make your wife and children a priority. One of my aunts once told me that her husband was a shitty husband but the best father her kids could ever ask for, and because of that, she remains in the marriage and is quick to forgive his errors when she sees how dedicated he is to their children.
 
  • Dress well: If you know you don’t know how to dress, please take your closest female friend to the mall with you and admit you need help. Your outward appearance is the first thing we see. Especially if you are not handsome, respect yourself jejely and please give us something to work with.  Look, walk, act suave.  
 
  • Be an asset to us: I don’t mean this monetarily. If the relationship ends today – let there be something great that we will miss about you. Let there be a very visible positive difference/growth in my life when you’re in it. You can’t however help me grow if you are not growing in someone way either. Iron sharpens Iron.
LDS lovers please add yours to this list! What's it going to take for you to be his Bonnie!

Xoxo,

Love is a beautiful thing.