The 3rd leg! Is it that important?

11:58 AM 14 Comments A+ a-

Hello Lovies,

How have you all been? Mehnnn, it has been unseasonably cold here o. As in, person just dey vibrate unnecessarily all in the name of cold weather. I hear some other states have it worse than we do so I guess I should count my blessings bah! Issoright….I dey count am.

How’s your new year going? Any revelations yet? Have you found out what God’s purpose for you in 2014 is? Well, part of mine is to write, and write I shall until my biro runs out of ink. Hehehehe…

See, I’ve been thinking about what to write for this week. I had to search through my mental database of unending interesting gist and it hit me! The 3rd Leg! You do know what the third leg is right? You don’t? As in you really don’t? Chai! My readers fall my hand small biko. The 3rd leg is the smaller leg between a man’s 2 legs! Yeahhhhhhhhh that one! See as sunshine just burst forth on your face…lol.. ohh.. una no go kill person with laughter abeg. Yup, the 3rd leg is a man’s penis.

Anyhow sha, this 3rd leg business came about from my friend’s love life. For privacy sake, we’ll call my friend Kate and her Oga at the top, we’ll call him Ikemefuna. Kate and I used to work together (she has since moved on) but she was probably my closest work pal at that time. We had our lunches together, shared dating tips\experience, tried different diet fads together and of ‘cos our summer walks. Kate has always had bad experiences with men, in fact I used to suggest that we go to one river to wash her head or something cos the thing get as e be. This was the case until 2 summers ago when things suddenly changed. She went to a congressional event and met a lovely man there. The oga foineeeeee as in not babyface or Shemar Moore type of fine o, I mean a rugged kind of handsome. He was a top level aide to one of the senators so he had access to all the crème de la crème events going on around the country. He also studied law so he was quite intelligent and so not hood at all. In short sha, this oga stand well-well.

Kate was so excited about him, everything about him was so exciting. He was always taking her to places. He would call at 4pm and say: Katie, be ready by 6pm, we are catching a flight to Washington DC tonight for a gala or a ball. Omo, the trips na to die. He showered her with love, attention (weekly flowers. etc.) and he spent money on her; he was just every girl’s dream man. Now, let me say this, we girls have a 90 day rule (yes, such things exist). You spend 90 days getting to know the guy (nothing intimate happens in this 90 days). We figured 90 days is enough to know if this is going to be a substantial relationship and if not, you gats to get the stepping! 
Usually, we don’t tell the guy that he’s on a 90 day probation period but in this case, Kate opened that her mouth and told Ikemefuna the deal. Surprisingly, he was fine with it. Kate did confess that they stole a few kisses within that period but no touching etc. happened and he was fine with it. He didn’t even pressure her at all. Mehnnn, as the naija in me now, I started getting suspicious. As in una chop mouth and bros’ hands did not even wander? He didn’t even complain at all? I didn’t know men like that still existed o. Usually it’s a battle to get guys to agree to this once they find out. Anyway, there was nothing we could do but wait for 90 days to be over sha. And over it was!! Kate said that summer was hands down the best summer of her life!

On their 100th day anniversary, Kate planned a lil’ some’tin…some’tin at her apartment. I mean flowers, candles, wine, lobsters, and the guy’s favorite musician (Music Soul Child and Kem) were blaring from her speakers. This was something straight out of a movie scene. But you know we women now, when we like a guy, WE LIKE A GUY! And we put it down! The guy had showered her with so much love, attention, gifts etc. in those 100 days and she felt he truly deserved the cookie more than some foolish elements who unfortunately got it before, and what better way than to sexify the whole thing. Kate even got some naughty wears at Fredericks of Hollywood (they must thank me for this free publicity). The stage was perfectly set! All we needed was Action! In fact, I was hugging my phone the entire time waiting for an update from her. The update came at around 2 am. “Savannah, I’m going to need a therapist”!

Ewwwoooooo, Therapist ‘ginni? What happened now? Kate said, everything was so perfect at first. He came in and was utterly blown away at the setup Kate had for him. He was like “at this rate, he would be an idiot not to start shopping for a ring”. They ate, danced to Kem, they drank wine and then Kate led him to the bedroom. Kate said while they were making out her hand kept reaching for the 3rd leg but the thing was just not bulging like she was expecting so she thought maybe it was the way Ikemefuna packed it. Eventually, they undressed and the revelation of a life time was before her. She said the 3rd leg was like half of a hot dog (and this was its full length o). She said she couldn’t hide her disappointment. She even gasped “what in the world……is that…..is that”. Mehnn, oga was embarrassed o. She said she tried to recover and she apologized and they still went at it but no matter the angle, she didn’t feel there was anything in her.

This was the issue for the next few weeks until Kate came to my office one morning, coffee in hand and said “Sav, I can’t do it. I can’t do it anymore. I need a functioning 3rd leg. I can’t do anything with what Ikemefuna has”. I was like wow…. I didn’t really know what to say to her. One thing I did ask was this: is the 3rd leg that important enough to be a deal breaker? I mean, let’s look at this very well ehn, you date those sorry misfortunes and they treat you like crap, but their 3rd leg is in the area of Bugatti, but Ikemefuna treats you like a lady, but his 3rd leg is in the realms of keke maruwa. You’ve got to pick one! Which one would you choose?

Kate dumped Ikemefuna that same week just for that sole reason. She said she couldn’t do it. So almost 2 years later, she’s dating a guy but she admits her life is not anywhere near as exciting as it was with Ikemefuna.

What do you think? Is the 3rd leg really a deal breaker?   

Toodles.. And have a fantastic weekend!


Love is a beautiful thing

14 comments

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 10, 2014 at 1:13 PM delete

what a stupid blog. please go and delete yourself from the face of this earth. this is the worst blog I have ever seen in my life. it must be owned by an oloriburuku oloshi, ma she anfani eni ti ko le dafun somebody for wasting my time.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 10, 2014 at 1:27 PM delete

Wow....the blog is definitely meant for people like you who need to loosen up a lot! That was a lot of harshness coming from you. On behalf of the writer i say back to sender a thousand times.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 10, 2014 at 2:06 PM delete

Now let me come and comment. I just had to respond to Anonymous 10.13am.
My dear, it is a deal breaker for me. I can't imagine not being sexually satisfied for the rest of my life. There has to be a man out there that has Ikemefuna's exciting qualities, but with the 3rd leg of those elements as you call them.

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Aspire Peace
AUTHOR
January 10, 2014 at 3:34 PM delete

My comment starts with a question: what does a woman wants? A real love like that of Ikemefuna or a 3rd leg? Well, i am sure ladies like kate are too confused and sexually infatuated that they can never distinguish reality from fantasies.If she really loves Ikemefuna not the excitement she was getting from him,she could play a vital role in helping him psychologically and otherwise to come out of the problem.It probably takes two to tangle and i believe she has no iota of love for the guy so it's better for Ikemefuna she ended the relationship.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 10, 2014 at 4:40 PM delete

You know, I kind of agree with Aspire. She could have stayed and nurtured him, and made it work. One way or the other it could have worked. Ikemefuna will find someone (hopefully) who would take him and appreciate him as he is. Don't be surprised if Kate is still single years from now. Women sometimes are confused about what they should want.
Nice post by the way.

Edith.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 14, 2014 at 2:46 PM delete

For me, I can tell you without the 3rd leg, nothing. I can manage no money partner, but nothing without the 3rd leg. I can't continue to look at other men 3 legs.....LOL

B

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 14, 2014 at 6:58 PM delete

@ Anonymous 10: 13
You a stupid cow. Why the swearing? If you have nothing better to say get the f...k out here. If u are a girl: 'm pretty sure ur man has a tiny wily n u r cheating on him and if u r a boy, u wank urself everynight night to sleep because ur girl is always pretending to be tired to avoid sex with u.
Now from my own point of view, the 3rd leg is very important to me, money is secondary. If a woman decide to manage a piro cover she will def cheat. Gbam!

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Anonymous
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January 25, 2015 at 7:11 AM delete

OMG.......y evils?? You don't like the blog, u move on.....are ur eyes glued there?

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
January 25, 2015 at 7:13 AM delete

One can't underestimate the importance of the 3rd leg oooo..... but Kate could have tried more with therapy et all if she really did love ikemefuna

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May 15, 2015 at 9:35 AM delete

Hheheheheheheheheheheheheeheheheh the 3rd Paragraph to the last is just plain Hilarious.. hehehehehehehehe You are a Nut case aswear! Chisos! hehehehehehe lmao!

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May 15, 2015 at 10:06 AM delete

Lolll... Duru, your laugh sef cracks me up. Make sure you bring your pals here to read.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
July 19, 2015 at 2:11 PM delete

Hi, great story. I must commend you as a writer. As a lady who went thru the say thing when i was younger i must say kate missed it. She focused on the minor instead of the major. I mean the most sex would last at it best is 30mins ... i am being very generous here. I really think sex is what you make it to be. She gave up everything else just for the 3rd leg. How sure is she that IK wasnt tired, hungry or even disappointed with what he saw and therefore couldnt stand firm and full. if Kate keeps chaseing the third leg and not the whole man she would miss out of lfe. she must first ask herself what she wants the most out of life; Mr. 3rd leg does not work and does not put food on the table. In my own case i want a man with a big and long 3rd leg that would keep me crying each time we had sex and i found exactly that but everything about the guy was useless. The guy i let go for him had everything else but our sex life was not as pleasant. A few year after we broke up i ran into him and we talked for a few hours. I told him exactly why i left him (our sex life) and he laughed and told me i was nothing to write home about either since my boobs were not firm, my mrs p...y (The mrs between the legs) was dry and too loose and that i had no morals. I made that mistake 15 years ago and now i am still single. Right now i will take anybody but no one is coming. Infact i just retired and my plan is to go back to nigeria to find love again. Young ladies and gentlemen ...please focus on the major and let the minor stuff go. Dont let a 5 min experience decide you life. If anything try once, twice ... 10 times and work at it if it is turely a problem to you. Kate dont be so foolish again you missed it and hope you dont end up like me. Thank you

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July 20, 2015 at 12:09 PM delete

Aww thank you! I'm super excited that you scrolled/read through a couple of pages to get here. That's impressive. Thank you!
You know... i'm totally on your side. I however feel that it varies for each person. Maybe 10 years ago i would be more concerned about having a 6 pack Shemar Moore or RMD as my type of man. But truth be told as i get older i shy away from people like that actually. This has come with experience for me. So people just don't get it until they get it. We can all only pray to have a man that has all of the qualities we want including a fantastic 3rd leg......lol...

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