Must You Claim A Girl ?

1:59 PM 7 Comments A+ a-

Hey Lovviesss,

So I was reading an article on BN a few days ago and I was like OMG this so happened to me and I have to tell y’all about my experience. It’s about guys who Claim.
What do we mean by claiming? Claiming is when a guy claims to have dated you or smashed you, whereas it’s all in his dreams. It never happened.

As the fine babe that I am now, a.k.a  Miss UNAD, Most Beautiful, Sexy Die, Segsy Mama, Omo Eleh Mi Gan Gan, sexy eyes……………………..lolll okay, I will come and add more to this list later. I kuku didn’t give myself all these names o; so sha as per being a girl now, you know you’ll always have guys who want you for whatever reasons best known to them. There are those who have the balls to come up and actually toast, there are those who do the toasting in their dreams but lack the balls to do so in real life – some of them send their uncles, aunts, even parents to do this job (I promise you this has happened to me a few times, most recently last month a guy’s older sister and his mom walked up to me to ask for my number cos their bro\son had been staring at me, & following me through the aisles in the grocery store but said “Sister, this girl is too fine, what if she says No?” – This is another story for another day abeg).

Less I digress. Anyhoos, and there are guy friends who you are just friends with, they’ve never toasted you and you guys are just good palls, and there are almost complete strangers who know EVERYTHING about you because they stalk you via every stalkable means   somehow somehow sha, among this group of guys there is always a claimer who wants to claim you as his girl, or as someone he has smashed before.

Let me start this story. So several years ago right, like 12/13 years ago, the BF back then started acting all kinds of weird, talking about trust issues and how some bees were buzzing at him about me & someone, which didn’t make any sense to me at all cos I was loyal to a T. This was the beginning of us parting ways after such a long time together. (For some reason, DBanj’s Don’t tell me nonsense just entered my head now…..now). Fast forward years later, it turns out a mutual friend of ours was that bee. The funny thing was that mutual friend had told me he was in love with me while BF and I were still together but I didn’t tell BF cos I didn’t want things to get weird with them. Marra of fact, he told me this on one of my birthdays when he showed up with several gifts and plenty birthday cards – you know the era of when birthday cards could even be taller than the celebrant, ehn oooo…that kind of card was there. There were cards in all sizes. Now this guy and I were mad cool then as in my friend any day any time and I always thought he liked me like a sister kinda situation. I had to ask him that day point blank that dude “what is all this now”? That’s how this guy started confessing all kinds of feelings he’s had since he first saw me when I was a teen in Naija. 

I had to laugh it off just so things won’t get awkward. So to cut a long story short, this guy started buzzing in my BF’s ears so that he would break up with me, and that would make the coast clear for him. I didn’t find out all these until many years later when BF finally revealed his source, by then he knew the friend had lied but it was too late.  Ol boy however till date does not know that I know what he did back then. Every now and then he will hit me up on Whatsapp talking about why am I cold towards him. Ol boy, se wan shepe fun eh ni? Abi your head needs a reset? Best stay away from me o! I plan on dropping the bomb one day on him in a most humiliating way. I just have to figure that part out.

Part 2:
So I was emceeing my dear friend’s baby shower last summer right, and that’s how one bloke started asking to talk after the event. I was like dude, I’m busy…yadi…yadi yah. Dude said he was going to wait and wait he did till the very end of the event. We talked a bit in the parking lot but I refused to give my number. Except my number was on the evite or so per planner so he got the number from there anyways. He kept texting etc but I told him I wasn’t interested & ignored him. My friend had her baby dedication and of course there he was again, my 2nd time ever seeing him. As the civilized human being I am I exchanged pleasantries with him and he was there shaking as if kini. He again tried to plead his cause and I wasn’t having any of that. Of course I was sweet and lovely as usual which probably didn’t help matters. Sighhhhh

So please o, a few months later I went to a naija restaurant in my neck of the woods that’s known for their very delish meatpies and sausage rolls, and I saw this guy at a table with a lady, eating and talking. As soon as I walked in the door, the guy whispered something to the girl who had her back to the door, and she immediately turned around to look at me. I nodded my head and smiled at them but went straight to the counter to pick up my order. After paying, I walked up to them to say hello properly. The guy introduces the girl as his cousin visiting from London, and I of course exchanged pleasantries with her as the well brought up Ondo girl that I am  hehehe. Next thing I know, the girl says So Sav, what’s going on now? I’m soooo excited to finally meet you. When should we be expecting you in London? You guys should start planning towards this thing o and stop wasting time (this “thing” = wedding).

Me: ehn? Sorry can you repeat that?
London Girl: Y’all’s wedding now. So so person (pointing to the guy) has been gisting me that you’re the one delaying.
Guy: Head burrowed deep in his neck, and avoiding eye contact with me & the girl, looking like a thief with his hands caught in a pot of soup.
Me: oooookay, errrm I’m not sure what this guy (pointing to guy) has told you, but whatever it is – they are all lies. This is my 3rd time ever laying eyes on him. He is not my BF how much more FiancĂ© that I would be planning a wedding with or going to London with, heck we are not even friends…. We are not dating, and we’ve never dated and we will not be dating….
Girl: Mouth open and in shock turns to the guy: Lagbaja, why did you tell me all that then? Ki ni gbogbo eleyi now. She turns to me to say she’s so sorry, but I had already walked away from them.

Can you all see the nonsense some men do all in the name of they want a woman??

P.S, I ran into the guy again at a mutual friend’s naming ceremony a few weeks ago and he kept saying please give me your number Sav, I lost my phone & all the contacts on it…….please, please, please.
I looked at my feet to see if I was wearing Dunlop slippers, cos I swear nothing would be better at using to slap some sense into this boy. Mchewwww. Shout out to the real Men out there!!

XoXooo

Love is a beautiful thing.  

7 comments

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
May 28, 2015 at 11:12 AM delete

Sav! Sav!! This is d 2nd time I am missing my train stop bcos of ur true life gists!! U won't kee mi oooo. He even had d nerve to speak with u after d restaurant drama!

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May 28, 2015 at 11:10 PM delete

Lolll abeg oo stop missing your train. Thanks for reading babes!

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
May 31, 2015 at 1:17 PM delete

Seunnnnn, stop dulling now. So correct gist is here and you are not publicising? Lol
You know you're so dramatic though, i can picture you looking for dunlop slipers for real lol. The guy is such a dunce.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
May 31, 2015 at 7:08 PM delete

Omg I can tell you so many stories like this. In my U.I days, there was this club guy that was popular but for some reason couldnt keep a stable girlfriend. People used to think, because he made them think that, that he was the one who kept trying to be a playa and so he was just using girls and dumping them. What he was telling his friends was that he justs want to sleet with a girl a few times and thats it- he has to change her for a new one as per club and campus big boy.
Butttttt the main story is that its the girls who run away from him after sex for the 1st time. So the issue is that the guy has a very tiny manhood, i mean tiny like a pinky finger and then he now has this really bad way of doing sex. He was so terrible at it. But becos girls try to be nice, most of thr girls he slept with or claimed to have since most were lies, kept his secret. Thats ehn, until the guy now started talking about he slept with me. Yes he asked me out and we went out a few times and one day one after clubbing he wanted to do you know and he brought out his thing. To cut the story, we didnt do anything cos i ran after seeing his size. Next fee days i started hearing what he was saying about me. I was so angry that i started telling everybody the size of his manhood, and other girls who had seen it also started talking. Befor you know it he was disgraced all over campus.

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June 7, 2015 at 6:39 PM delete

ohhhhh my goodness, so sorry i didn't respond earlier.
But mehnnnnnn i couldn't stop laughing!! where do i even start? From the pinky size to you telling everybody about it? Thanks for sharing mamasita

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June 7, 2015 at 6:41 PM delete

Lolll.... no vex abeg. I had a really busy week but i did publicize on FB na.

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Anonymous
AUTHOR
October 3, 2015 at 6:27 AM delete

I feel you on the case if you ex bf's friend who spoilt show in your relationship. Something similar happened to me. This guy (let's call him fine boy) was asking me out, i liked him but wasn't sure he was single so i asked a mutual friend (let's call him Mr X) to investigate for me. He came back telling me the guy was in a very serious relation and was getting engaged soon. that's how i ran away oh! Several months later, i met fine boy again and he brought up the topic, i was trying to be cool and not act like i was offended until he mentioned that he hopes Mr X and I are happy together. What!!?....Mr X and I ke, ni bo? Then it all made sense to me. Mr X had asked me out a couple of times in the past (even since Uni days). He had obviously told fine boy that we were dating or something like that and came back to me telling me fine boy wasn't available. I was so angry! Imagine all dis foolish fake guys that won't let any other person have you cos they can't!

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