Their life, not yours.

10:07 AM 5 Comments A+ a-


Yesterday, my friend calls me to run something by me. She wanted to know what I would do in her shoes and what i think she should do (these can be 2 different things). She had stumbled on some information that her cousin had conveniently kept from her. I told her to Let It Go. It doesn't need to be addressed. You have to pick your battles, and honestly if the issue is not a threat to my life or that of my immediate family, or my money, I can easily ignore. I choose for shit not to bother me (You have no control on how people behave towards you but you do have control over how you react to ish). So I told her Let it go! 

My friend said okay hon, thanks, i'll ignore and take the high road.
10 minutes later on whatsapp, friend is boiling and blowing steam. Soon as we had finished our earlier conversation, she couldn't hold herself and let it go as i had advised, so she called her cousin and their whole conversation went left.

I let my friend let off all her steam and just listened. The wee hours of this morning she says babes are you awake? I can see you're online, i need to talk. Then we start talking.... She was still miffed at her cousin and couldn't sleep. She said she had been tossing and turning all night thinking she can't believe her cousin lied to her etc. So after spending an hour VERY early this morning dissecting the issue again and telling her she had to calm down so her BP doesn't go up; she ended the conversation saying I wish i had listened to you and not called my cousin, i was not even half as angry as i was before confirming. Seun i can't believe you're not mad at me for not listening to your advice. If it were someone else they would be gloating over me by now. 

Truth is I have NEVER and will NEVER be upset, feel slighted or disrespected if someone doesn't follow my advice. I don't get it and probably never will understand why some people make it a big deal when they give someone an advice but the person chooses to do otherwise.
IT IS AN ADVICE! That's all.... No more. Everyone is entitled to choose whatever directive they feel works for them. This is the reason each person has their individual emotions/thought process/mind/heart/thinking faculty; there are no community thought processes. Let everyone make their own decision. It is very okay if someone decides to choose A, even though you pointed out B to them. Remember they will have to live with their decisions, not you.

Even God who created us encounters this issue every single second when you hard headed knuckle heads called human beings refuse to follow his instructions and advice in the bible, and go do your own thing, your own way. Then when things go left you wont let Him rest; be shouting up and down, night and day O God of Elijah help me ooo, awon iya osoronga have come oo. God is not even tripping over all that so please why are you? Be a decent person; give advice, solicited and unsolicited, but by no means should you take offence should the person do otherwise.

2016 is here, abeg start making better choices and stop trying to impose yourself/ideas/ideals/ upon other people; and if you do and they reject it just remember you won't die because of that, and the world won't end either.

This is what loving people selflessly is all about. It's not about you, but it's about them. Love and support one another regardless.
Happy Monday!!'

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