United Flight 142

3:44 PM 2 Comments A+ a-

Helllllo Lovies,


So right now, I am aboard a United Airline flight (UA142) from Houston to Lagos, a 10.5 hour flight. This would be my second time on this flight. I think my first time was either in 2014 or 2015 and my experience today leaves an awful taste in my mouth just as it did back then. Let's just say future flights can very well be sans United.

Dinner time.

I'm fast asleep when I hear this LOUD voice continue to say repeatedly "Ma'am, would you like something to eat? Sir would you like something to eat". This startled me out of my sleep. I mean, I couldn't possibly be in a 1950's New York City Street market listening to a man announce his wares...right? 

I lift my head up to see who on earth it was, who has no better idea on how to address people. Lo & behold, he was 7 rows ahead of me in another cabin!!! Why so loud mister? Why? Did someone within United tell you we are all deaf of hearing?

This same pattern continued until he got to my row. 

I decided to communicate to him in a tone an octave lower than I normally use in a public place because you know I respect everyone's eardrums, and their right to not lose their eardrums just because they boarded a plane. I had hoped my low tone would help him communicate in a much lower tone with me. Nope, did not help.

Now, (I digress) my preferred airline any day is Emirates!! Heyyyyyy BAE Emirates! 

On Emirates, we get a meal menu card with CHOICES of what we would like to eat. Usually about three to select from, and the meals are tasty too; you know, like tasty human being worthy food, not dog food. Yes, I admit that as a young child I has made the unfortunate curiosity killed the cat mistake of tasting our dog's (Bingo) food. That taste has stayed with me for at least 26 years.

So Mr. loud speaker dumps a tray in front of me. He left behind his courtesy barking of “would like a meal”. I say to him "excuse me, do we have choices to pick from?" He gives me a stare (the where do you think you are, this is not the Beverly Wilshire  stare" for a couple of seconds before finally responding with an irritated voice that really sounded like "don’t ask me 'turd-ish questions miss, but what actually came out of his mouth was " I am serving meatloaf, would you care to join us", as he continued serving the man next to me.

Arghh at this point I was just done with unnecessarily loud tone. No need arguing with this Ginger Garfield as a man person. I proceeded to accept the meatloaf. Ladies & Gentlemen, this had to be the most awful meal any human being had the unfortunate displeasure of eating! I took a bite & immediately spewed it into my napkin. Even Bingo deserves a tastier meal. United Airlines, I can't deal,.....really I can't. 

I spent the entire 10.5 hr or so flight in a state of extreme hunger. 

3 rows in front of me, Loud Speaker Ginger (he did not wear a name badge/tag unlike his colleagues aboard the flight so........) was having a very loud conversation with some gentlemen about the horrible state of the food. He said, "I know... I know... The food is horrible, and nothing like Nigerians like to eat. I've shared this with the company many times, that the food gets wasted every time & flyers are unhappy with what we give them but they never listen to me. I think you guys should write to United directly and let them know how you feel, maybe they will listen to the customer since they dont listen to the staff." He then proceeds to yell out the name of another staff member who was walking by on the other side of the plane. He refers to her as his boss, and then asks for the web address for flyers to give feedback through. He tells her ohh don't worry they won’t say anything bad about those of us on this flight, they just want to report the bad food".

I just need Ginger to go away at this point, I mean like really just zip it & go sit down.

The rest of the flight was good until it was time to prepare for landing.

Again Ginger was back to talking to the men three rows ahead of me. A young lady sitting on the front row (right next to the aisle Ginger was) where people with infants sit, had a baby in hand, and needed help lifting her diaper bag & a very small plastic bag into the overhead bin in front of where Ginger was giving a (SOTAU ) State of the Airplane Union Address (rolls eyes...). She says, "Excuse me" to ginger three times, trying to get his attention but he plays deaf. eventually he snaps at her "Ma'am WHATTTT". She gestures to him & says we have been asked to stow our bags for landing, do you mind helping me put this diaper bag up there? (Note: she was carrying an Infant, & took a hike when God was giving out heights, so she definitely needed help. I should also mention that when we were about to take off, a female air hostess helped her stow the bags away because she was not blind, & could identify a customer/nursing mother in need & probably got an A in customer service class).

Ginger told the woman, No I will not help you lift the diaper bag to the overhead bin because I’m not supposed to. If I lift it & something happens to my back, United won't help me": Besides, as you can see, I am busy having an important conversation here.

I damn near flat lined when I heard the last statement.

He proceeded to collect the tiny plastic bag from her instead & tossed it into the overhead bin, & then told her to put the diaper bag in herself. After handing her baby to someone else, she tried to but she just couldn’t put the bag in properly.

Needless to say I, who is also a mum, with plenty of empathy, & common sense, unbuckled my belt, collected the diaper bag from the woman and put it in the overhead bin, while Ginger continued his SOTAU address. 

I am done with this flight!

Ohhh and the food on my return flight was just as horrible!! I spent the entire flight snacking on my own snacks, & this flight was not bloody free or cheap! 

Somebody please send this to Oscar Munoz (CEO of United Airlines). I would love for him to taste some of this awful, not fit for human or any living species consumption, food. I would love him to go undercover on one of these long distance flights, both on his carrier & that of other airlines (Emirates, Qatar, Ethihad) to see the difference. 


I have sine returned to the U.S, although I'm just posting this. There was no freaking Wi-Fi on the 10+ hr flight for me to live post like I've done in the past aboard my Emirates flight.
It's freaking 2016, & there's no Wi-Fi aboard! And to make things worse, to use Wi-Fi from Houston to MD, I would have to pay $8!. I probably spent maximum of $2 on Wi-Fi on a 13hr flight on Emirates.


Write comments
March 16, 2016 at 2:35 PM delete

Me again o. I love love love Emirates. That's what I fly to London from Lagos. I was a Virgin Atlantic fan until I tried Emirates. I have not gone back since then. #EmiratesIsBAE

March 21, 2016 at 3:11 PM delete

Lol @ me again. So sorry I'm just responding. Something is off with my comments notification. I love VA too and flown with them before but mehnnn Emirates ALL DAY!