Mother in law: Mother in love or Monster in law ?

3:31 PM 3 Comments A+ a-

So this is an old write-up of mine that gained a little popularity (tongue out) on Facebook. It took me a few minutes to write this after several days of reading (on blogs\FB groups) about the horrific experiences women are experiencing in their homes. To be honest I was angry & irritated when I wrote this because it hit home for me, & I think it reflects in the tone of my write up. Forgive me in advance & Enjoy. 

Mother in-Laws.

Evil mother in-law, Evil mother in-law, Evil mother in-law! Yes, you. I’m talking to you. Didn’t realize you are evil didn’t you. Well news flash, you ooze all the symptoms so you are one. Darn it!
You know what makes you evil? Haaaa a million and one reasons but let me state a few that I’ve gathered from the beautiful women you have decided to frustrate just because you have no idea how to be a mum to your son, how to be a mum to a girl who is not biologically yours, because all you know is how to be a bournvita and lace kind of mum. Yeah, you, I’m referring to your evil ways.

Yes, you raised your son and no one was there but you to give him a bath, feed him, wash his clothes, and direct him in his ways of life. Now that he’s a grown man, some beautiful Opelenge girl has decided to waltz into his life, to continue from where God has ordered you to STOP – (Remember Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31, Matthew 19:5). Yes, it was mentioned 3 times!! 3 different times in both the new and old testament, just in case you didn’t see Genesis, there was Ephesians, and in case you missed Ephesians, gbam it was there in Matthew. Everyone loves the book of Matthew. I’m sure you didn’t miss that part!

It was mentioned 3 times because dear mum, you really have to let go of your son. It’s bad enough that Opelenge has to deal with a man with zero sense of accountability, broke ass like that shattered bottle of Guinness Stout, heart as dark as the contents of that bottle, can’t boil water to save his own life, can’t keep his pants zipped up so he goes hunting every time like a hunting dog, doesn’t even know how to wipe his ass therefore he thinks the bath tub is where normal human beings clean their assess after taking a dump in the toilet. You nasty man!! Darn it!!

Can’t do his own laundry for anything, going around town looking all unkempt; el-stupido, even one eyed Joe knows how to clean his own clothes so what’s your excuse? You can’t see? Your eye or your hand ain’t working? The el-stupido you raised is so stingy, he can’t even buy you, his mother a birthday card – yeah, he took the card that Tanimola gave him in 1998 and crossed Tanimola’s name out and wrote “to mum” on it. He gave it to you in 2014, you smiled cheekily when you saw “to mum”, until you looked at the front of the card and saw “to my lover on your birthday”! Yeah, that’s your son alright. Instead of you to sit him down and educate him on why that kind of stunt is not even acceptable in World War II, you didn't. You kept your mouth quiet. Yes, like it’s not bad enough that we have to deal with all that, you now decide you will be Adolf Hitler + Fadeyi Oloro in your son’s home. Anyone want to remind this woman what happened to Hitler and where the hell is Fadeyi anyway? –Urghhh such ugly looking people too. Darn it!

So mother in-law, you decide you don’t like Opelenge because your son loves her or because he’s going to shower her with the money he can’t spend on you. You decide to visit an orisha to help you out, so they give you a blanket to give your son. You bring the blanket to his house and tell him he’s the only one allowed to cover himself up with it every night. He is not to share the blanket with his wife. Helloooo.. .anyone ever heard of using different blankets from their spouse? You evil woman! Darn it!! He starts using the blanket and wowzers, he doesn’t recognize his wife anymore. He wants to take on a second wife and the marriage is just 2 years old. You sit there in your house smiling contentedly…. Iwo iya fun rara eh.

So you decide you don’t like Opelenge, you now decide Opelenge must not breast feed your granddaughter. Reason please? Drum roll anyone – jim..jim..jim..ghen..ghen…. Your reason is that the child will bond more and love her mum more that she does your son who refuses to change a diaper or buy a bib. To buttress your point, you pour away her breast milk anytime she pumps, and feed the baby with baby food when Opelenge is not there. Can you see your life right now O wicked Mother in-law.

So your son decides he will become Muhammed Ali, and starts practicing on Opelenge. Opelenge runs to you thinking she has a 2nd mum in you but your response is “ehen… and so what. After all he didn’t break any of your bones. Isn’t Lagbaja a person who Mike Tyson-ed his wife Tamedo, and Tamedo is now wearing a POP cast on her arm. You better be happy he only Muhamm-ed you when he could have Mike-ed you. Ohh Mother In-law, can you see your evil ways now!

Ohhhh you can’t stand the love between your son and Opelenge so you decide to visit Orisha to give you one concoction or the other so the 2 love birds can’t have children. Your sit in your house watching them run from pillar to post, looking for the fruit of the womb, yet you sit there chewing chewing stick, eating Weetabix with water and pawpaw – who the hell eats cereal with water and pawpaw anyways???? You nasty woman! Normal people eat cereal in milk –Darn it!

So you’re still buying your son’s underwear for him, and he is in his 30’s. Ohhh brother, the things I've heard ooo and the things I've seen with my koro koro eyes. Yeah ma, you’re still buying his boxers for him 32 years later. What a darn shame. Opelenge comes into the picture having vowed before man and God to be the best wife to your son. She starts buying his underwear, and you take offence to it. After all you've been doing it for 30+ years. You know what, while you are at it, why not spoon feed him too so we know you’re the aces of mothers. Nonsense somebody gbogbo! 
That’s an indication right there that you all ain't normal at all.

But why though? Why do you have to be so embittered? Why do you have to wage war in your son’s home? Why must you be the reason behind problems, behind hatred, behind stagnation? What kind of joy do you get from being so evil? Why do you take joy and pride is tearing down another woman’s child, who also happens to be a woman? Have you forgotten what it feels like to be happy? Have you gotten so used to ills that the sound of laughter, the scent of happiness is a turn off for you? WHY? WHY? WHY?

To all the awesome mother in-laws out there, I raise my glass to you and say MAY GOD BLESS YOU. Your generations to come are indeed blessed, & girls like me will be glued to you, treat you better than your son & love you till eternity. 

To my female friends and me, the change starts with us: Be secure in your own self, you are beautiful, you are amazing, heck, you raised a boy and you deserve a crown and sash for that. We all know this knuckle head children can be a joyful pain. You don’t need to compete with Opelenge for your son’s affection. You've had it for years, and the truth is if you are amazing to Opelenge, you’ll end up getting double the affection from both of them. You don’t need your son’s money, heck you've done a fine job securing your future so there’s no need for you to jump into 3rd mainland bridge just because he bought a Louis Vuitton for Opelenge. Sheesh, you've been carrying LVs since they were still in diapers.
You've got your own husband or boyfriend or man friend to fuss over so get to fussing. If there’s no man in your life, that’s okay. Join a club or seat your behind down and watch African Magic – that ought to keep you busy watching Nollywood at its best. Whatever you choose to do, please do it as long as it means staying out of your grown son’s business (relationships, house, finances, and his boxers). Let’s make it a point to raise our sons to be fantastic, able bodied, praying, responsible, intelligent, educated, committed, generous, forgiving, kind, considerate, truthful, ambitious, Godly, and fatherly men; AND stay the heck away from his home!!!!!
Call yourself to order today. Don’t embarrass yourself 20-30 years from now. If Judas could disown Jesus, trust me, I would disown you for displaying evilistic mother in-law behavior.

.Love is a beautiful thing....


Write comments
December 1, 2014 at 12:10 AM delete

Well written. ...well said

January 9, 2015 at 2:12 PM delete

This is deep! Well said. Everyone should read this.

January 11, 2015 at 4:24 AM delete

Wa je egba iwo omode yi. So ara re gidi gan ni. Really nice.......